It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
