My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
