I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
