she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
