I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
