I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
