drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
cat food counts as protein by the way
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
