i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
