We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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