weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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