I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
