Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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