i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
