That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
