You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
