i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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