What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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