This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
