You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
