Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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