So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
