Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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