Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
