Texts From Last Night · caelcaeldace's Favorites

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caelcaeldace's Favorites Texts:

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(708): View more from Illinois

Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad

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(240): View more from Maryland

All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS

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(636): View more from Missouri

He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.

(314): View more from Missouri

That was the greatest thing i have ever read.

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(516): View more from New York

Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!

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(216): View more from Ohio

he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone

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