areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
