I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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