the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
