Texts From Last Night · Sectumsempra's Favorites

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Sectumsempra's Favorites Texts:

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(678): View more from Georgia

After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".

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(281): View more from Texas

I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.

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(804): View more from Virginia

You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.

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