Texts From Last Night · security24's Favorites

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security24's Favorites Texts:

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(432): View more from Texas

I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave

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(210): View more from Texas

As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner

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(901): View more from Tennessee

So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.

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(806): View more from Texas

You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.

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(207): View more from Maine

No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.

(207): View more from Maine

What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?

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(727): View more from Florida

Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.

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(256): View more from Alabama

We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.

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(802): View more from Vermont

When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?

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